Sunday, December 30, 2007

Cell Phone or Crazy Talk?

It seems that you can't walk two feet these days without overhearing some one's inane cell phone conversation. Working in Mid-Town Manhattan, I see many overachieving yupsters with the tell-tale wire running out of their ears - closing deals, firing underlings, telling "sweetie" not to worry, he wont' forget the eggs.

With everyone spewing carbon dioxide and banter into our overheated atmosphere, it's hard to tell who is mentally ill any more. I'm certainly not making fun of mentally ill people, but 15 or 20 years ago, the only people talking in public without specifically addressing any one were considered "crazy." Now that everyone is gabbing, and who knows who they are conversing with, it certainly muddies the communicative waters.

My solution? Cell phone "zones." It will be illegal to talk on a cell pone (wireless or not) unless you are standing in a special area, which will be marked with white or yellow lines like a truck loading zone. This zone will be tucked away from the general pedestrian traffic flow. If you feel like talking to yourself, or God, or" Zorbot", the ruler of Pluto, that will be perfectly legal. Oh, and if someone is caught talking in a "cell free zone", as a citizen, it is your right, nay, your civic duty, to report them and/or smack them in the face - as hard as you can.

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